through a looking glass

about this blog

i started this blog because i could.
the blog might look depressive, but i'm just trying not to get angry at someone and dump it on this instead (:

tagboard

i stalk you stalking me.

archives

credits

Design: doughnutcrazy
Icon: morphine_kissed
Adapted from the skin 232232.

and that's a wrap.

have you ever reached a point whereby you've just had enough bullshit going on and suddenly thought "THAT'S IT!"

been there done that, mate.

will be home in 1 week <3

keeping you in my mind,

bx.

turn the beat up.

I JUST HAVE THIS HORRIBLE FEELING ABOUT MY PAPER. FRICK. (okay, the word on my mind also starts with F but might be a tad bit vulgar).

and you know what annoys me. i met THE SAME guy who annoyed me a couple of days back regarding the stupid five cycles he's doing right now. WTF. the conversation, straight after i mumbled "SHIT" and handed the paper to an invigilator, went like this...

J: hi bianca, how was the paper?
me: meh.
J: easy laaa. i think it's easy.
me: it was alright. could have been better.
J: really? i thought it was really easy. aiya, H1 la bianca, haha.
me: errr.. HAHA (in a sarcastic note. mind you, i was super upset with how i did).
J: the friday one is harder. i'm more worried of that.
me: yeah i know, higher weight.
J: so, have you studied for that?
me: eerrr i think soo?
J: are you gonna study the lecture notes?
me: ...

JUST LEAVE ME ALONE already! sighs.

the river's just a river.

okay so i am not supposed to be typing this NOW with the stupid weather shutting down my brain and my exam starting in about 16 hrs.
BUT (gotta love the buts), i suddenly remembered something that actually was disturbing me (and is still disturbing me, i must say).

so a few months ago, i was supposed to meet up with, say, X, for lunch since he was going back to his home country. since he was late, i played around with my blackberry and happened to do stupid searches on Google map. and latitude, since they go together.

20 mins later.. still no news from X. i decided to bbm him, which he didnt reply, and called him
X: "oh, i was actually stopped by the trammies @#$% aaaarrghhh emo" (he didn't validate his metcard)
me: "oh where are u?"
X: "oh was just at home. decided to tram then the guy caught me near vicmart. im picking you up by taxi"
me: "what, your house is like 5 mins away from uni"
X: "but i wanna take taxi."
me: "but what if the driver doesn't want to send you here. can't you walk?"
X: "but it's so far."
me: "it's 5 mins, for goodness' sake"
X: "aiyah, see how."

and sooo.. since he was gonna take a while more, i continued my latitude. and well, his location on latitude was actually near South Yarra. and his place is not at South Yarra, mind you. i was like, meh, why would he lie about trivial things, right? there's probably a glitch with google map, like usual.

and he actually took quite long from "VIC MART" to med building, which is sorta odd. i mean, with taxi, you would probably take like, 2 mins?

and i didn't give much thought to it. until 1 month after that incident.
i was going to crown with him and we decided to catch a tram. and at the melb aquarium stop (the one between southgate and crown complex)
X: "oh this is where they caught me last time"
me: "huh, thought they caught you near vicmart?"
X: "err... what was that.. oohh. what was i talking about. yeah it was at vicmart. i mean, i saw the trammies near this place last time."

WHAT WOULD BE ON YOUR MIND?
a. he was lying.
b. he's an idiot.
c. he's an idiotic liar.
d. he was telling the truth.
e. just the hell with him, i think too much.

disappear

have you ever wondered why you're here?

the latest episode of my too-much-thinking series is about why God invented humans. i mean, if he knew Adam and Eve would fall into temptation and commit the first sin ever, why did he create them in the first place? why did he create the snake if he knew that that sneaky snake would be used by satan to seduce Eve into taking that Fruit of knowledge? why did he invent the tree?

if you still don't know what i mean, why did God create human beings and let them just go astray? why not invent something else, that is also in His image, who wouldn't sin? 'cause seriously, why would an architect design a building that would fall off?

MAYBE, if we hadn't existed, the world would have been to quiet. planet earth would live longer, dinosaurs would still be roaming the earth... and no one would nag.. and there wouldn't be that thing about over-population.

i guess the Big Guy never makes sense.

If i beg and if i cry

Would it change the sky tonight
Will it give me sunlight
Should i wait for you to call
Is there any hope at all
Are you drifting by

And then i lie all by myself
I see your face, i hear your voice
My heart stays faithful
And time has come and time has passed
If it's good it's got to last
It feels so right

I missed all the signs
One at a time you were ready
What did i know starting our lives
No my love, i'm ready to shine

When i think about it
I know that i was never held or even cared
The more i think about it
The less that i was able to share with you
I try to reach for you, i can almost feel you
You're nearly here
And then you disappear...

LOVESTONED

i don't get how people can do 4 cycles of studying in a week of swotvac.
seriously.

to understand a little bit more, i'm going to ask you a few questions. some are easy and some are hard. is it okay by you?
1.do you guys have more than 24 hours a day? (1 point)
2. do you get ANY sleep? (1 point) *

3. do you EAT? (1 point)

i'm not talking ENOUGH sleep. no one gets enough sleep during swotvac

4. tell me 3 things that you usually have for your meal. (3 points)
5. now, i'm going to say three words slowly and i want you to repeat after me. and then i want you to remember these words, as i'm going to ask you to repeat that later.
"I. AM. HUMAN" (3 points)

...

then again, i don't think any of you do stupid things during swotvac. my bad.

xoxo

*typing under the control of her rubrospinal tract?

OH! it's what you do to me...

i am feeling pretty low. in a freaky way.

1. my caffeine effect just wore off, now all i can think about is hugging a bolster and sleep the week away.
btw, i'm still on a coffee ban. i bought red bull instead :D i know i knoww.. but i don't think i'd need red bull the whole of next semester. i mean, i'm banning coffee also for aesthetical purposes. i don't want it to stain my teeth. although the smell of freshly-brewed coffee still blows my mind.

2. i realise how much i don't know about stuff. seriously, all of you meddies. have you ever thought about what you'd do next time when you actually see patients? aren't you scared of not knowing things? i know i am.. i was in the library for 9 1/2 hours, i think i've left a huge dent on my seat.

3. I LOST MY CRUMBLE RECIPE. well, I didn't lose it. somehow the website domain name or smth just expired. the last time i made apple crisp, it didn't turn out as i wanted it to be. and i want my crumble recipe, with melted butter and all.

i am so sad ):

see her life as a carbon atom

you're close enough to see that you're on the other side of the world to me